Nostalgia: Stranger Things

I watched the series finale of Stranger Things today and am very confused about how I was feeling afterwards. It has nothing to do with how the finale was, the ending, or anything. It really has nothing to do with Stranger Things at all. I enjoyed the last season, I enjoyed the show, and I don't really care about any theories that were floated on social media. I'm confused because I was left feeling....something. Sad? Lonely? I don't know. The best way I can describe it is nostalgic.

I find that odd because, as much as I enjoy Stranger Things, it wasn't a show that I was obsessed with. I loved the first season when it came out and looked forward to the new ones every year they arrived, but it is nowhere near how I feel about other shows like Doctor Who, One Piece, or JJK. My feelings took me aback after finishing the show. I didn't plan to sit and watch the whole two hours in one sitting, but I couldn't turn it off. Afterwards, I needed to lie down because I knew something was off. I was off. Even now, thinking about the ending brings up emotions, and I'm not sure why.

Maybe it's because when it first came out in 2016, I watched it with college roommates. When season 2 came out, I watched it with a friend I no longer see. When season 3 came out, it was one of the last shows I remember enjoying before COVID-19 happened. When season 4 came out, I was the unhappiest I had ever been in my life to that point. Now season 5 has wrapped up at the start of a new year, the first new year in a while where my shoulders are lighter. Maybe it's because I've always craved friendships like the ones in this show (and many others). Maybe it's because I have had friendships like theirs, and had to move on because life goes on, and I miss those people very much. Maybe it's the loneliness that's been weighing on me lately. Maybe it is all of it, and the emotions of everything crumbling down at once, and this show was just the catalyst to recognize it.

While I don't like this feeling, and while it seems like life is hopeless, I appreciate the show for bringing it upon me. It feels almost like a test for me. I am going to embrace these emotions, let them overcome me, overwhelm me, and then wait for them to do what they always do: melt away, because feelings are fickle. If I had felt this way during seasons 1 and 2, I wouldn't have even realized I was feeling this way. If I had felt this way during season 3, I would have locked it away. If I had felt this way during season 4, it would have broken me. Season 5, though, I know what to do.